and here’s where I get a million angry messages.
this is absolutely 100% aimed at no-one in paticular. hand on heart. I’ve been thinking all this for a while but couldn’t be arsed with the “tumblr dramaz”. I’m not trying to offend anyone with this, feel free to tell me if I’m wrong or being overdramatic.
do not get me wrong, I am COMPLETELY PRO-TRANS. I’ve watched trans guys and girls go through their transitions on YouTube for years, read up about it, the psychology and the process fascinates me. I have several friends who have been through it. I’ve dealt with it first hand in a relationship.
but what the fuck is with trans suddenly being trendy?
it’s like every 14 year old with a tumblr has “trans’ in their information, everyone is changing their bloody Facebook names.
do people actually get that this is a real condition that people struggle with everyday, sometimes for years? that people are being bullied for it? that the trans community is still massively ostracised, even with gay people? that it can rip people’s families apart and cause mental illness? you don’t just wake up one day and think, “you know what, I feel like being a guy/girl from now on.” it’s something that plagues people and they struggle with for years.
I’m not saying that just because you’re young, you don’t know you’re trans. that’s like when people say “oh you’re not gay, it’s just a phase, you’re too young” (bullshit). but it’s something you feel in your fucking bones from your earliest memories. it’s knowing you’re in the wrong body. it’s not “I’m a butch lesbian that doesn’t wear make-up and I played with Action Man when I was a kid”/”I’m a really camp gay guy and I want to wear a dress”.
everybody has different days, from the girliest girl to the machoest man, where they feel a little bit “boyish”/”girly”. for girls, we might walk around in sweats all day or whack on a suit on a night out. guys might go to a beauty parlour for a facial or watch a romcom. you don’t change your whole life because of it, and make a mockery of people’s real issues in the process. that’s called “gender fluid/queer”. if you don’t want to be put in a box, don’t. go for it, I’m all for people expressing themselves how they want.
if you’re serious about it, more power to you. if you’ve spoke to your friends, your family, a doctor about it and are making the steps to transition, however baby those steps may be, fantastic.
if you don’t even bind and are still allowing your girlfriend to call you female pro-nouns six months into your “transition” and your coming out was a status on facebook? no, I don’t think you’re serious. I think you’ll be back to female in a couple of weeks when you get bored and aren’t shocking people anymore.
I understand getting things from a doctor and therapist can be difficult, hormones aren’t just over the counter and you have to live as your chosen gender for a year to make sure you’re sure- THERE IS A REASON FOR THIS. it is an IRREVERSIBLE DECISION. once you’ve had surgery, you can’t just glue things back on when you change your mind. you can’t back out because you got heckled the first time you used the correct toilet in a restaurant. you can’t fly off the handle because someone mistakenly calls you your biological gender at the start of your transition. you won’t be passing yet, it takes time and patience. if you’re serious, you’ll know this. it’s a journey, not a flick of a switch.
I could go on and on but I don’t want to step on any more toes.
to all you “trendy transers” out there who just want to be a bit different,
it’s not a fucking t-shirt you can slap on when you feel like it.
just think a bit harder about things, yeah?